WHAT REALLY MATTERS

It has been said that a few years ago, at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win.

All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back; every one of them.

One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said: "This will make it better." Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes.

People who were there are still telling the story. Why? Because deep down we know this one thing:

What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

Pass it on...we need to change our hearts.

A LITTLE EXTRA LOVE

The little girl who lives next door had been a problem for a long time. She is the type of child who says "NO" when you tell her it is time to go home, or blatantly defies you when you tell her to stop doing something.

She lives with her grandmother who has, over the course of the 8 years we have been neighbors, decided on several different occasions that she wasn't interested in being friends with us, so I had no way of knowing what was going on at home.

Last year, when this little girl was 5, her Grandmother kept her home from kindergarten feeling she wasn't ready yet. This year at age 6 she went off to kindergarten. Three days after school began she came to call for my daughter in the middle of the school day. I asked why she wasn't in school and she responded, "Because my age was ready but my act wasn't."

I inquired further, wondering what she could possibly have done to get tossed from school after three days of kindergarten. She may have been something of a problem, but certainly the school system couldn't have expelled her, could they? That's when she told me that she was "bad" and had to take "bad pills." I told her that I didn't think she was "bad."

Her entire face brightened and she looked at me with wonder and said, "Really?" Then she wrapped her arms around me and told me she loved me. Suddenly I realized this poor child's problem. She had been convinced in her short life that she WAS bad. What reason does a 6 year old child have to behave well if it isn't expected of her?

Before that moment I had frequently been impatient with her behavior, but I vowed that from that day on she would get only love and patience from me. She went back to school a few days later and has had no further problems. I know, because I ask every time I see her how school is, what she is learning, and does she have fun at recess.

My new found caring has worked out well. She seems to listen better to what I say, perhaps because of the love in my voice. She comes over now not only to call for my daughter, but to show me her new Halloween costume, or ask if she can play with the kittens. She is not afraid of my authority and I am free to genuinely care for her.

It is my hope that over her life she will meet many people who will realize she needs something extra, something she doesn't seem to be getting at home, and she will blossom into a spirited, but well behaved, child.

The next time you encounter a child whose behavior is frustrating to your patience, think about what that child's life experience may be and give that child a little extra love and attention. You never know.

--- Copyright © 2000 D.L. Miller

THE BIRD FEEDER

Last fall I hung outside my window a bird feeder. Now not knowing the first thing about wild birds, I assumed that as soon as I hung this bird feeder outside, a multitude of beautiful birds would be swooping to my new addition. Days, weeks and months went by; NO BIRDS.

I asked so many people what to do? What was I doing wrong? "Nothing" most of them replied. "Just wait." So I waited and waited and waited trying everything possible, to attract these birds.

I cleaned off the deck, I changed the feed, I washed the feeders, I even made the cat go out the other door! But nothing seemed to work. So......I waited, "with patience and hope."

Two (2) months later, on a Saturday afternoon, I FROZE! What to my eyes had appeared on the bird feeder but the most beautiful bird I have ever seen in my life! All of a sudden HUNDREDS UPON HUNDREDS OF BIRDS WERE APPEARING FROM EVERYWHERE!

What a beautiful lesson I learned from this little creature. "Patience and hope" and "things" will attract the beautiful things in life. I never realized how much patience I really do have and how much I do rely upon "hope" to sort out the questions in my heart.

So I keep hoping and waiting, waiting and hoping. I will try to use this "little lesson" with so many other things in my life. I guess "patience is a virtue" after all.

--- Copyright © 1999 Gina Wehmann

The end has come. Finally the end has come. Thirteen years of work. Thirteen years of blood, sweat, and tears. A lot of blood, sweat and tears. The good times came, as did all of the bad times.

We have lived to see each other grow and yet we were blind to it, never noticing every detail that has made our lives beautiful. The beauty was there. The passion was there, but we never took the time to look, to see.

We ignored those who were different from ourselves, every clique thinking the other to be weird or stupid. We put down those we like, not because they deserved it, but because we were too stubborn to see the beauty in them. Instead we saw our own insecurities and tried to crush those that were weaker to make ourselves feel better.

There is no more time to lie to ourselves about what we think is right. There is no more time to justify our actions, or our choices. There is no more time. Our lives as we know them are over.

Welcome to the real world, and I'm not talking about MTV. I'm talking about the cruelty we create every time we open our mouths without love in our hearts. Love. Please love someone. You will never be able to truly live until you truly love.

Are we too young to love? Absolutely not. We have just been conditioned to not want to love, to not want to listen to our own hearts, or follow that gut feeling. We have allowed these days to pass, without any idea of who we really are or what we really feel. Our feelings have gone unspoken. We have lied.

Look into yourself and ask, "Have I lied?" We stand on the doorstep of destiny and Destiny has said," I will not make your choices for you any longer, I will not be your guide, you are yours and so the choices are yours. You must live with the consequences of your actions. The blame can only lie on you."

There is no more blame to be shared. We are individuals. We have chosen our paths and no matter where they lead, they are our own paths. Some paths may cross again. Some of us may never see each other again. The truth is all we can hold on to.

Some I will miss, others I will not, but this phase in our lives is deeply rooted with each other. No matter how hard we try to deny each other, we are all connected. Do not deny each other any more. We are entering an even more hostile world than high school. We need each other. We must stand with each other. We must always look out for each other.

Men, chivalry is not dead, unless you kill it. Treat all women with respect. Look closely; every woman is beautiful.

And so life for us is truly beginning. Our careers will start. We will meet the love of our lives and forget those we loved before. We will have few true friends but those we keep will be more than blood, they will be a part of us, a part of our souls. They will live on in us forever.

And as the years pass, so will many of this class. And the tears will form more often then not. Our mortality, which we never feared will begin to make us worry, about what will they do if I die? Will they go on, will they mourn?

We will begin to second guess ourselves. But our friends will be there to support us and when they are not, we will know when the time has come when we will meet our Maker, and we will have to account for our lives.

And then there will be no lies; every second recorded. Will you regret what you did? Don't lie, you will.

My life is filled with many regrets, but all we can do is stand firm and do what is right. We cannot pass judgment on anyone but ourselves. That is not our job.

Our job is to live respectable, good lives, raising our children to be better than we are. Our job is to love for love is the root of all that is good. Without it, we are already dead.

Don't be afraid to cry, it is not a sign of weakness, rather it is a sign of strength; strength from your own self-awareness; the knowledge that tears will heal without leaving as many scars.

Dream. Change your mind if you need to. Don't be miserable. Don't be afraid to walk away. Don't put yourself down; you are your own worse critic. Don't trust everyone, but know who can trust and when you do, trust him or her with your life.

Let the ones you love know. Don't be ashamed to hug your dad or your mom." I love you" comes too few and far between. Don't be ashamed to say it if you really mean it. They will be appreciated.

Be a kid again. Swing, run around, go splashing in the mud, forget about the world for a few minutes. Don't worry what people will think, even if it's for just a moment for that moment will live with you for the rest of your life.

Do not hesitate. If someone is good and there in front of you, take hold and never let go. You never know if they will ever be back in your life again, or if you will ever have the chance to love them and have the love returned if you let them go.

Fear nothing. The worst that can happen is you will die. And you will die, so the worst will happen inevitably, so why be afraid of anything?

You are never alone, there is always someone thinking of you. And most importantly, again, I say love.

Love endlessly. Put no bounds on your love. Love like there is no tomorrow. Love like you can't be hurt. And when you are, love some more. Love will heal you; love will save you. Love.

And I leave everyone with these final words. Live your lives full of love; live for the moment. Live for the moments, each detail, and each beautiful second of time.

Find your moment. Find the beauty and then live for it. Live for those days when you can just dance in the rain. Live for those beautiful moments.

--- Copyright © 2000 Chris Sheppard

LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCES

We touch the lives of others in ways we often never know. People sometimes come into our personal world for fleeting moments and can leave us forever changed. We have more power to create or to destroy than we can imagine. We can leave things or individuals better or worse than we found them. A look, a word, a gesture has tremendous impact and frequently we blither along through our existence unaware of the mighty power that our communication wields. Here's an example:

It was a rainy, humid day: the mother of all bad hair days. I was riding on a bus downtown to go to work. The windows on the bus were covered in condensation so thick you couldn't see outside. Everyone was wilting. I was sitting next to a man in a business suit and didn't pay much attention until we both got off at the same stop and walked to the same newsstand to get a morning paper.

The man running the stand was obviously having a bad day. He was rude, abrupt and unsmiling as we purchased our papers, which served to only add more gloom to my day. The businessman caught my eye and smiled. He then proceeded to smile brightly, thank the newsstand proprietor for the paper and for being open on such a morning to make sure we were able to get our papers. In short, he expressed his appreciation for something most of us would take for granted.

The man running the newsstand responded only with a grunt and a sour expression. The businessman then pleasantly wished him a pleasant day. As we turned away, I asked this man why he had continued to be pleasant to the newsman when he obviously didn't care about and didn't respond to his expression of appreciation and friendliness. The businessman grinned at me and said, "Why would I let someone else control what I say and what I feel or what kind of day I'm going to have?"

We then separated to go to our respective work places. To this day, I don't know who that business man was, where he worked, or anything else about him. I never saw him again, even though I looked for him on the bus on other days. He appeared briefly in my life and disappeared just as quickly. I don't even remember what he looked like. But I've never forgotten the words he said or the way his smile seemed like a shaft of light on a gloomy day.

That was a good 25 years ago, but the impact this had on my life has lasted. I never had a chance to thank him personally, but the way in which I try to choose to look at life as a result of those words is his legacy to me and my thanks to him.

Our interactions with the people we encounter can impact at least the next five people that person encounters. A smile and words of simple appreciation multiply themselves geometrically. We cannot control people and situations that come to us, but we can always control our response to them. And in such positive decisions lie our control and personal power to make a positive difference. And it's something anyone and everyone can do. It is a real legacy that can impact both the present and the future.

--- Copyright © 1998 Gail Pursell Elliott
http://www.innovations-training.com

YOUR MEMORY BANK

Do our perceptions die? Do you remember hearing the words "wild imagination" or "over active imagination"? Remember the days when we would entertain ourselves for the entire day with our daydreams of doing this or that when we "grew" up?

As we grow in experiences so does our memory bank of "warnings" and the likes thereof resulting from those experiences. As a youth, our experiences with life are few and influenced by our parents protective environment, but our imaginations are wilder, unencumbered, less restrained by self so to speak, to enjoy our dreams or desires (within reason).

Dreams are our perceptions in life. To say our perceptions "in" life are based on our experiences is not supported. To say our perception "of" life is based on our experiences is true, but not the focus of what creates our perception? What impedes the advancement of our positive perceptions in living life is the reactions to our warnings stored in our memory bank, experiences.

Our perceptions are influenced by laziness (lack of dedicating time to think) and will automatically revert back to "warnings" (negative) as it should be. But as time changes daily, so should one be willing to modify one's perception of truths embraced (truth exists only if you embrace it as such).

When we are lazy in managing our future and feeding our perception of what we desire in life, we reply on the words of others to influence or shape our perception (under someone else's control) of what is reality.

We all have been influenced by the words of others. For an example of influenced perception, I have a dear friend who will not drink coffee because he says it is bad for the heart. I asked why he believed that statement and he replied; "That has been the belief for years among health professionals.". Embracing that as the truth as he did, based on someone else's belief and never investigating it any further, influenced his perception.

I shared with him that the fact is scientists are waking up to the health benefits of coffee! A group of international scientists found that coffee filters can remove from 78 to 90 percent of dissolved heavy metals such as lead and copper from tap water. The researchers suggest that the results may be evidence that daily human exposure to heavy metals in cities around the world may be greatly overestimated, and that current public health risk assessment models are inaccurate where coffee makes up a large proportion of water consumption.

Yes, another perspective on what is considered: "bad." The point is to allow oneself the freedom to enjoy life by being young of thought, dare to dream, believe, and do what satisfies the needs of your soul.

Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.

WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS...

My grandfather took me to the fish pond on the farm when I was about seven, and he told me to throw a stone into the water. He told me to watch the circles created by the stone. Then he asked me to think of myself as that stone person.

"You may create lots of splashes in your life but the waves that come from those splashes will disturb the peace of all your fellow creatures," he said.

"Remember that you are responsible for what you put in your circle and that circle will also touch many other circles. You will need to live in a way that allows the good that comes from your circle to send the peace of that goodness to others. The splash that comes from anger or jealousy will send those feelings to other circles. You are responsible for both."

That was the first time I realized each person creates the inner peace or discord that flows out into the world. We cannot create world peace if we are riddled with inner conflict, hatred, doubt, or anger. We radiate the feelings and thoughts that we hold inside, whether we speak them or not. Whatever is splashing around inside of us is spilling out into the world, creating beauty or discord with all other circles of life.

Remember the eternal wisdom:
WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS...

LIVING AND GIVING

Whatever you give away today, or think or say or do will multiply about tenfold and then return to you. It may not come immediately, nor from the obvious source but the law applies unfailingly, through some invisible force.

Whatever you feel about another, be it love or hate or passion will surely bounce right back to you in some clear (or secret) fashion If you speak about some person, a word of praise or two, soon, tens of other people will speak kind words of you.

Our thoughts are broadcasts of the soul, not secrets of the brain. Kind ones bring us happiness; petty ones, untold pain. Giving works as surely as reflections in a mirror. If hate you send, hate you'll get back, but loving brings love nearer.

Remember, as you start this day and duty crowds your mind, that kindness comes so quickly back to those who first are kind. Let that thought and this one direct us through each day.

The only things we ever keep are the things we give away.

ADVICE ON LIFE

In three words I can sum up everything that I learned about life, "It goes on." When the going gets tough, make yourself realize that no matter what your problem is, someone is and always will be fighting a harder battle.

Tears don't help problems and whining won't make things better. Have faith but understand that faith makes things possible, not easier. Have hope but understand without doing anything nothing gets done.

Be there when people need you, because in order to have friends you must first be one. Make the impossible, possible. Never give up! You only fail when you fail to try. Keep an open mind; you never know what you may learn.

Never compromise your standards for anyone, do it for you. Remember that laughter makes the world go round. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose, see through the problem to find the solution. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Keep in mind, those who gossip to you will gossip about you. Say only what you mean, and don't believe everything that you hear because some day the story will be about you.

Everyday is a gift, even if it sucks. Count your blessings, not your troubles. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them, because you never know what tomorrow has in store for you. Give people a second chance, because no one is perfect. Love all that you can, give all that you have, smile away your days, and dream away your nights.

Life, what a wonderful thing!

ACHIEVE SUCH PERFECTION

In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning-disabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school career, while others can be main-streamed into conventional schools. At a Chush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, "Where is the perfection in my son Shaya? Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God's perfection?"

The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father's anguish and stilled by the piercing query.

"I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that He seeks is in the way people react to this child." He then told the following story about his son Shaya.

One afternoon Shaya and his father walked past a park where some boys Shaya knew were playing baseball. Shaya asked, "Do you think they will let me play?" Shaya's father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shaya's father understood that if his son was chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging.

Shaya's father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shaya could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his team-mates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."

Shaya's father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on a glove and go out to play short center field. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shaya's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shaya's team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base, Shaya was scheduled to be up. Would the team actually let Shaya bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shaya was given the bat. Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shaya didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it. However, as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shaya should at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came in and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya's team-mates came up to Shaya and together they held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shaya.

As the pitch came in, Shaya and his team-mate swung the bat and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling, "Shaya, run to first. Run to first!"

Never in his life had Shaya run to first. He scampered down the baseline wide eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shaya, who was still running. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second." Shaya ran towards secondbase as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shaya reached second base, the opposing short stop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, "Run to third."

As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, "Shaya run home!" Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit a "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "those 18 boys reached their level of God's perfection."